'Nother Day

I'm really struggling here....I cannot decide if I'm being selfish, have too high of expectations, if it's horomones, or if it's not me at all....I don't know what my deal is lately....actually I know what part of it is....it's the whole appreciation thing. I WANT to know that I am....so here's the deal, I really cannot complain about what he doesn't do because he does do chores around the house and I do appreciate it and I tell him. I've read in those magazines that they want to be appreciated so I try to do my best to say "thank you" for different things. But I also want the same thing in return and I don't see that I get it....like I've said before he's not much of a verbal kind of guy, but I wouldn't think that "thank you" would be very hard to say. That's why I've tried to focus on my grateful list, but I've done a shit job with that too. I dunno, maybe my expectations are too high. I can't help but think it's not entirely me.....we've had these discussions before and it usually goes back to the same. So I get mad when I don't feel appreciated, then I just ignore him, and that usually makes things worse. I wish I knew the secrets to making a great marriage...and I really hate to say this, but things have changed since j was born and I knew they would, but not quite like this.....he's a really good dad, but sometimes I feel like he's forgotten about me...again, why I've tried to pay attention to those things to be grateful for and what he does through his actions....again not doing a good job with that.....I really do love him very much......I really wish I could get past this

Thanks for listening....